"So, dear brothers and sisters, work hard to prove that you really are among those God has called and chosen. Do these things, and you will never fall away" (2 Peter 1:10, NLT).

Creating Healthy Boundaries

Working in the social field for years I have noticed the need of having appropriate boundaries to promote sanity among workers and clients. I believe that everyone who works in the human service field must be trained in this area and be reminded by supervisors about how crucial is to learn the limitations to prevent any type of issue in our society. Boundaries show where I end and where someone else begins, leading me to a sense of ownership, taking own responsibility and a sense of freedom (Cloud & Townsend, 1992, p.31). Is a doctor able to heal a patient diagnosed with Diabetes when the patient is not determined to change his diet? Can a counselor change the beliefs of a client who grew up in a Muslim family? Or, can a teacher stop a young student from cutting himself? As human service workers we can only contribute so much. Doctors provide information to their patients and give them medical advice. Counselors ask open-ended questions guiding clients to review their thoughts in order to make healthier choices. Teachers have a daily opportunity to relate to students while building healthy relationships. According to Martin (2014), “Human service professionals must establish boundaries in their mental, physical, and emotional lives to determine what falls within their domain and responsibility and what does not” (p.63).

Couple of years ago, I relocated from Atlanta where my main role was to support first time parents for the Healthy Families Program. The criterion to enroll in the program was to have less than 40 points on their initial assessment and to be a first time parent. Parents who had more than 40 points were referred to a mental health worker. In Lynchburg, the Healthy Families program accepts parents with multiple children and clients who score 100 points! The children expose to these parents and caregivers have a high risk of abuse and neglect. This new field opened a new door for me to learn new skills and acquire more training, not only to work with mentally ill clients but to learn the importance of having better boundaries. There is a huge difference between a mom who does not have family support and needs someone who can coach her to accomplish her goals, and a mom who was sexually abused as a child, who has been diagnosed of bipolar disorder and does not have family support. This mother needs more than a family support worker. She needs a qualified mental health support worker who can work with her more than couple of hours per month. She needs counseling and medical treatment as well as a larger support system in place.

About a year ago, one morning, I was in my office in the beautiful campus of HumanKind in Lynchburg. I was the first to come to the office and the silence was unusual, so I decided to have a conversation with God about this situation. God was clear to me. He helped me reflect about what I do and how to do it. That day I understood that the clients I was serving were very special, with very unique needs. He pointed at me that may be I was the first person in their life who could empathize with them. He revealed to me that the parents I was serving were survivors of abuse. They were moms and dads whose boundaries were broken and I was given the opportunity to support and to advocate for their human rights and give them the blessing of confidentiality! By doing this job contentiously I was assigned to a fragile human being, created by God, who was made to have trusting relationships with others. How these clients could trust God if they were not able to trust their own parents? How they can learn to have healthy boundaries when their own siblings and uncles violated their valuable minds and bodies? That morning I decided to dig deeper into the mental field, to value my clients even more and to be more alert on drawing the line of where my role start and ends. I was determined to do my home visits on time, to be firm to say “no” when was necessary, to model appropriate boundaries in the hope that they will do the same for their children. Like the wise Solomon said, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it” (Proverbs 4:23, NIV)

When our boundaries are not appropriate we send the wrong message to the community. We are telling people that we are the fixers of the world! We are not empowering individuals to achieve their fullest potential to become the best caregivers they can be. When we bring a box of food to a home instead of rehearsing a phone call to the local pantry with a fearful client, we are missing the target. The intentions are good but the outcome will be lack of freedom for this individuals. Like Michelle Martin says, if we want to be effective human service professionals, “we must commit to help individuals to develop their necessary skills to become self sufficient and function at their optimal levels, personally and within our society” (2014, p.4). The word of God says that in this world we will have trouble, but Jesus whispers in our ears, “take heart because I have overcome the world” (John 16, 33b, NIV). Jesus has set the example for us. He often stopped his work to seek the presence of the Father. He went to the other side of the river to pray, to talk to God about His people. Jesus cried when Lazarus died, he empathized with children, victims of abuse, poverty and with the sick. He knew the meaning of being rejected! He knew when to stop and get wisdom from Abba. In obedience, Jesus paid the price for the issues of the entire humanity. He was the ultimate rescuer and his sacrifice was, is and will always be enough!

The Word of God and Human Services Ethical Standards

The preamble of the ethical standards states that “human services offers assistance to its clients within the context of their community and environment appreciating their diversity.” The job I do, more than the means to earn my living, is a ministry. God wants us to impact our community while blessing others. Jesus talked to everyone. He approached every individual in a unique way. He spoke in parables for everyone to comprehend his message. His purpose on earth was for everyone to know God and have a relationship with Him. The same who said, “Let the children come onto me,” allowed the ill woman to touch his rob. He healed the sick, and die for all! The same Jesus who showed us how to serve others, did not favor one class or race more than others. He talked to strangers! He knew that deep inside everyone needs some form of healing. Daily, I see the need of freedom in my community. The Word of God tells me to love my neighbor as I love myself, “But if I show favoritism, I sin and I am convicted by the law as a lawbreaker” (James 2: 8-9, NIV, paraphrased).

When I read the ethical standards for human service professional the word integrity stands out. As human service professional we have the opportunity to show others who we are in Christ. We can reflect our own convictions in the way we love and encourage others, as well as keeping their information confidential. When we do this, we build trusting relationships with our clients. Paul tells Timothy, “Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth. Avoid godless chatter, because those who indulge in it will become more and more ungodly” (2 Timothy 2: 15-16, NIV).

The power that we have does not rely on training, credentials nor experience because humanity is constantly changing. The power that we carry within us comes from the knowledge of Truth! When I interpret for my clients I become a communication tool. When I coach a patient to eat healthier I am only a motivator for that person to live more abundantly. When I make a therapeutic intervention in a classroom, I am keeping in mind that I am training little ones to respect their peers to make peace in our world. The ethical standards put emphasis on thewellbeing of others. The Word says that “The wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere” (James 3:17, NIV).

Contrasting the ethical standards with the Word of God, I noticed that on Section II, Statements 38 and 43 reflect tolerance regarding our client’s beliefs, promoting liberal education, abstaining from inflicting moral views of clients. Even though, as Christian workers we are commanded to “go and make disciples,” I believe we have limitations when it comes to sharing the gospel because we chose to respect God’s time for others to receive the Truth. Meanwhile, we can conduct ourselves having a Christ like attitude for the world to see who lives in us. I am convinced that we can embrace this form of tolerance and chose service evangelism, while using one the most powerful weapons to bring others to Jesus: Prayer! Overall, I believe that the ethical standards are rooted in the Word of God. Diversity, honesty, respect, integrity, confidentiality, safety and inclusion are not only duties to clients, our community and the employers that we serve. These are commanded by the Lord who made us to do great works for His Glory! Then, “the King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me” (Mathew 25:40, NIV).

What is needed to serve others...

I believe that those of us who are called to impact lives must have a strong calling to do so.  I agree with Michell Duncan, that having empathy towards others is crucial in this field.  She rejoices saying, “The stories of the people humble me!”  It’s evident that this is an intangible reward for her. Also, Linda Williams clearly says that the motivation in this field “is not the money.” She believes that the main characteristic is “caring for others doing this job to make a difference in the world.”

In order to be effective assisting others, a worker must have good interpersonal communication skills that include empathetic listening being genuine and authentic.  The people that we serve not only see what we do for them but how we serve them. They are able to sense if we really celebrate their successes expecting our validation most of the time. The relationships we build can have eternal impact on people’s lives. Honestly, I need to continue being mindful and intentional when I coach my participants applying my communication skills. I want to provide my clients time to share their pain and suffering before jumping into possible solutions. Sometimes is a challenge to be effective having good listening skills when time is on the essence.

In addition, making positive interventions in peoples lives is a very rewarding profession that requires having excellent boundaries. We must recognize what is within our own power, and what is our client’s responsibility. This job is not about us. Yes, we do get a pay check and often get to celebrate some triumphs, but in the end the blessing consists in giving selflessly. A healthy social worker is able to separate her personal life from the life of her clients. She will not compare herself to them. She knows she is not the expert; therefore, she is willing to learn from the experiences of the ones she serve. An effective teacher is able to rest during the weekend to have enough energy to interact with her students Monday morning. A thoughtful clinician is intentional about having fun in his own life to be able to establish the safe haven for a needy client when the time comes. A smart counselor will rely on the Holy Spirit when he sees the pain of his client and there is not much he can do. God gets the glory in this process!  

If we are able to see how meaningful our contribution is in this chaotic world, we will get up every morning with a smile in our face asking our Father to empower us to encourage others. One of the most beautiful pay offs of my job is to see the blessings being recycled! When I hear students motivating their classmates or I see a dad praising a child, when I hear a wife showing gratitude to her husband, then I know that what I am doing is bearing fruit.